A 5 years old kid is running here and there on the big stone
floored balcony, the old people who are busy in their work wearing thick glass
spectacles, annoyingly lifting their eyebrows, reluctantly lifting their heads
from big, thick books and asking each other “whose kid is this, making so much
of noise..” A plain looking woman
wearing a simple saree, hurried from behind the door and apologized to the
elderly person, “I am very sorry Sir, this is my kid.” She then caught hold of the
kid and scolded her with her affection mixed with concern, “I told you, if you
are coming to my office, don’t make any sound, others are working, so sit
quietly.” The kid simply cuddled her mother as she knows this is her only
world; she doesn’t like her mother coming to the office, leaving her with the
Granny at home, to her the most beautiful thing is the glimpse of her mother,
the most secured place is her mother’s lap, the most beautiful aroma is the
smell of the saree which her mother is wearing. She looked at her mom and with
the innocent smile she said “Mom, I like this balcony of your office, let me
play, I won’t disturb anyone.”
“Maammum, Is this big building Didun’s Office” – my
three year old kid suddenly comes running from behind and holds me asking a
number of weird questions. I was totally lost in the golden moments of my
childhood with my mother and suddenly I saw the present shingling the flash
backs.
Yes Mom is no more with me, and today I have come to her
office to complete all of her post death formalities. I have come to close her
pension book forever, and to collect her arrear money. A mysterious and strong
feeling of nostalgia, the memory of my childhood days, the reflection of my
mother’s face have been engulfing my heart and mind and momentarily things are
getting hazy in my eyes and I hardly could see anything except all the moments
I spent in this building when I used to come with my mother to her office.
I felt my reflection on my kid who is as naughty as I was,
running here and there in the big space disturbing everyone while I have been
completing all the formalities. Yes, I have done with all my duties and now
it’s time to return home. May be never again, I have to come to this building,
the very sight of which is making my heart heavy, my limbs numb and my eyes
filled with tears.
“Betu, let’s go, now it’s time to return”, somehow I caught
hold of Mithai, my daughter and took her in my arms. While answering her
babyish questions, I have been walking towards the exit gate; but suddenly I felt
like visiting my mom’s sitting place once. I took Mithai back and went to that
room where my mother used to sit and work. I saw the room was nearly empty with
one or two people working. Most of the old staffs have retired and no new
recruitment has taken place. I have been standing near Mom’s chair for a long
time and may be me and only me in this entire world can see something out of
nothing in that chair. I saw HER aura oozing out of the old piece of furniture
and I was totally enthralled and captivated of the site, tears unknowingly
filled my vision and again I was lost.
“Maammum, why you are crying” I got sensitized on my kid’s
call and I took her in my arms and left the very place which was making me
entirely numb.
We crossed the long corridor, the big balcony, the wide stair
case and entered the garden. Nearing the exit gate, I stopped and turned once
gain to glance the mammoth white structure standing proudly and with its glory
for so many years; I witnessed it’s magnificence, enormity and I felt like
never before. The white dome and the enormous pillars of the building have
turned rubescent in the crimson rays of the setting sun, and its striking
silhouette was bidding us adieu. From the far, in the distant horizon I saw my
mom standing on the balcony watching me going, smiling and blessing me; I totally
was mesmerized, hypnotized, engulfed with the flash backs of her life, love,
family, desire, work, responsibilities, duties and above and over, hers me.
