Keep Yourself Healthy With Oil and Butter (Continued……..)

After the lunch break, Kabla generally goes to the smoking zone with his partners or plays carom in the Time-Pass room of the office. Today Kabla preferred playing carom while he remembers about Kobra Da’s mail in the morning which says that today there will be a knowledge sharing session in the Conference room which every employee of i-lThrust has to attend and that the session will start by 2.30 pm. Kabla checked his watch, ”Oh its almost 2.30, no probs let me get another 5 / 10 minutes late more so as to get a seat beside Paachu Da ” he murmured to himself as he knows very well that Paachu is always late for any session and those who are late always manage to get seat beside him in the Conf. room.



The Conf. room of iThrust is full today; even some people are standing who haven’t got seats. It’s an elegant room with a big center table and has sitting arrangements of nearly 40 people fully equipped with all the advanced mechanisms like huge white screen, projector for presentations, sound absorbing roof and walls for echo prevention. Paachu Da, the super technical boss of i-Thrust is still not been seen in the room. Before the session starts let me put some light on His Highness Paachu Da the Great. Paachu Da is a brilliant guy, I think Genius would the term to define him. Everything about him is unconventional, his knowledge in myriads of various subjects to his brilliance in various Technologies, his hairstyle of a cute pony-tail to his personality, his versatility to his blogs; every, every small thing about him is unconventional. His food habits, his biological clock (working at night, and sleeping in the day), his energy, his ideas, his works, his thought process, everything is unmatched in i-Thrust. Thought he is technologically versatile, yet he is obsessed with a particular technology called PointWeb and thus he is little prejudiced about his fellow PointWeb team members. I-Thrust has been operating with basically two main technologies, CoffeeBeans and PointWeb. Since Paachu da, the big boss, is too much passionate for PointWeb, as a consequence the CoffeeBeans Teams members are bit neglected both in terms of hike in salary, designation and quality of work they get; whereas PointWeb Team enjoys a superiority over CoffeeBeans Team getting a nice shelter at the blue-eyed silhouette of the solid roof named ‘Mr Paachu Phepre ’, the Chief Officer of i-Thrust. One thing more I like to mention about Paachu Da is what I have mentioned before also is Paachu Da’s unusual food habit. Though he claims he does not take outside food yet his total meal largely comprises of different kinds of chips of different brands, bananas, some other home-made snacks, Maggi etc. Kobra da seems very fond of or rather proud of Paachu Da’s unusual habits. Of course, Kobra Da doesn’t have another option; being a Hr he has to say ‘Yes/No’ to that of Paachu Da’s respective ‘Yes/No’ as Paachu is the one and the only operating officer of iThrust.



Well, though Paachu Da is still not present in the session, seeing the time constraint Kobra Da requested one of the CoffeeBeans Team to proceed with their presentation. Kabla feels very drowsy in the Conf. Room and says in a low tone to Ghana Da (both being in the PointWeb Team), “What a boring presentation!”! A smug smile crossed across Ghana Da’s Face. Of course, Fultushi is sitting next to Ghana Da (as expected) and Ghana da seems more interested in staring at Fultushi escaping her glances than listening to the boring presentation. Fultushi always keeps a seat for Ghana Da beside her in any meeting. Suddenly Kabla gets overwhelmed to see that the door of the Conf. room slightly opens and ‘yeahhh’ Paachu Da arrives with his two hands full of packs of chips and bananas and other foods etc. As soon as Paachu settles in the room, Kabla throws his enormous body out in the air from the chair he was sitting and landed almost at Paachu da’s lap and snatches one of the chips packets from Paachu Da’s hand as if he has been starving for ages. The person as well as the people in the room who are listening to the demo feels very disturbed by Kabla’s behavior, but Kabla, Paachu da, I mean the whole PointWeb team give very little importance to their feelings. After all they are PointWeb members; they can do anything in the office. Kobra da, who is well versed with corporate etiquettes and decorum, also gets amused with Kabla’s behavior, of course since Paachu is okay with that he obviously has no authority to be annoyed at such things. The Session goes on. Suddenly the presenter stops as he gets disturbed with some munching and crunching sound. Everybody in the room looks around to know where the sound comes from and sees Paachu Da, Kabla, Ghana da etc all are munching chips making sound in between the demo. The Presenter carries on “If you click on this button you will be able to see”…. Munch, munch, munch, (again Paachu da is munching)..”a popup which says that”..munch..(Paachu da)…..”Please register yourself to use the service” …ha ha ha, hoho, hehehe (Kabla laughs)…The Presenter feels very annoyed and down. They are talking among themselves, sometimes laughing also. It makes little difference to them whether somebody is disturbed or not. Paachu da’s philosophy of life is to eat, munch making sounds, and laugh when some other person is talking in the meeting. Every other person except him is a foolish fellow in i-thrust and he likes to munch at them when they are talking at least if it is not a demo of his favorite PointWeb Team or the person speaking is not his blue-eyed baby like his favorite Ghanta who has been given ‘A Best Idea Giver and Care Taker’ award this month by Paachu da…

I will come to Ghanta shortly. Anyways the CoffeeBeans’ Session gets over and Kabla feels released.."Yeahhh its Carom time now!".
(…To be Continued………….)

Keep Yourself Healthy with Oil and Butter

“Arrey Paachu Da, today again chips”, Kabla gives an unnecessary big grin to his boss while managing a handful of corn chips from Paachu Da’s hand.. This is not the first time he managed to snatch a handful from his boss Paachu’s packet of chips which sometimes Paachu reluctantly shares with Kabla, Gobindo, Poncha and a few more are there in the list who every time tries to snatch Paachu’s day time food which consists of few packs of corn chips and potato chips and a dozen of bananas..

Kabla’s normal day starts with waking up in the morning at 9’o clock which Kabla considers very early, gulps down six jumbo sized ghee fried alu-parathas, two boiled eggs and a glass of creamy milk in the breakfast prepared by his mother, who being a very affectionate, gentle lady always concerns for her son’s health and remains very worried with the thought of her son’s getting weak by taking such a paltry diet. Kabla then hurries to the bus-stand to get the office cab which is scheduled to pick him up at 9.45am. He boards the cab while giving a quick glimpse at the other seats of the Tata Sumo to get an idea of the sitting position of his nice female office colleagues in the cab as well as to gain an instant knowledge of their attires.. Kabla very well knows that how this knowledge will help him in the knowledge sharing sessions with Gobindo, Poncha, Ghanta as soon as he reaches office.. Although Kabla sometimes gets green with Gobindo who not only always coordinates those session but has a better observation power in terms of the dresses, the vital stats and many other parameters of his office girls, yet he considers himself a better contender as Gobindo is an ugly short heighted obese married man with a 4yrs old son..Kabla considers himself genuinely handsome with pair small black greedy eyes, long poking nose, curly hairs, very fair complexion, medium heighted with a very well bulged tummy..

Anyways, Kabla makes his sitting comfortable in the cab and starts his idiotic conversation with Fultushi, sitting beside him in the middle row of the Sumo. Fultushi is a nice young girl except few very irritating facts that she considers herself Miss World and her continuous, unnecessary chats especially with the boys will give a person a beautiful headache even if he/she is not participating with her in her irritating chat session. I have given her a special name, ‘The chatter box’. Who am I? I will ask my readers to have little patience before I come to my introduction. Let’s go back to Kabla’s schedule.

Kabla manages to give his attendance to the office by swapping his access card in the electronically controlled entrance system and logs into his system. After checking few mail accounts, bank accounts, and orkut, facebook, legbook, handbook and myriads of other ‘etc-book’ accounts (thanks to the social networking sites), Kabla gets charged up and feels like smoking. Since smoking is prohibited inside the office, he goes to his smoking partners, Gobindo, Ghanta, Poncha and asks them to join him. They all seem very happy with Kabla’s proposal and joins Kabla not only in Smoking but their ‘special’ knowledge sharing sessions. Sometimes the Hr of iThrust, (the name of our company), Kobra da also joins them in the smoking zone. Kobra Da is a very descent guy and doesn’t like Kabla n company’s knowledge sharing sessions except the fact the he uses the word ‘exigency’ instead of ‘emergency’ too much in his mails whenever there is a reason to fire mails to all-employees-Kolkata@ i-thrust.com. Kobra Da is a nice person and crazy about sports be it is cricket or football or indoor games say ‘carom’.

After such a nice smoking Kabla returns to his cubicle, opens his system; while doing so he starts chatting with Fultushi, giving a big yawn says, ”What a hectic day, so many works to do!”.. yawn… “Ah! Fultushi, when is Ghanasyam Da coming?" ..yawn.." You must be knowing his timings”… a very big yawn….

Fultushi, who sits next to Kabla, is not found in her seat most of the time, rather she is found either in Ghanasyam Da’s cubicle or in her recent chat partner Ghanta’s cubicle.. In spite of her unnecessary chatting habits with male colleagues, Fultushi is otherwise very proactive, sincere girl, try to show a lots of attitude (especially in front of Ghanasyam da and Ghanta and few more guys are there in the list), which she doesn’t have, ends up in immense foolishness or stupidity…She sometimes becomes or at least shows hyper-pro activeness in any project (either she is a part of or not). Ghanasyam Da who is the direct reporting boss of Fultushi, Kabla, Gobindo, as well as me is very fond of Fultushi. Ghanasyam Da is a nice guy almost in his mid thirties but still a bachelor, enjoys Fultushi's company very much, often takes her out to lunch.. Fultushi knowing his weak point, takes this as an advantage and gives him an extra lift by flirting, blushing , going out with him, even enjoying the remarks which others throw at her regarding her relationship with her dear Ghana Da (Ghanasyam in short) especially in front of him. Fultushi represents herself to be utterly innocent as if understanding nothing at all but at the deep core of her heart she knows that this flirting ends within the boundaries of office only; she is never going to be a part of Ghana Da’s lonely life.. Higher Ghana will float in Fultushi’s sweet dreams, better will be Fultushi’s position in iThrust.. Fultushi’s approach has given her a very good hike both in her salary and designation this year and she knows this is very right to survive in this industry… Hey readers I think there is at least one Ghanasyam da and one Fultushi in every company and this is what we say in hindi “Chit bhi apni , pat be apna” means a win-win situation for both the parties. Our super boss Paachu Da in very happy with Fultushi and why not, he seldom gets high praises for Fultushi from his favourite Ghanasyam.

Well we have shifted a mile from Kabla and Fultushi’s Conversation.. Fultushi gets very amused with Kabla’s remark about her and her Ghana da as well as with his big yawn. “Uff, Cant you yawn silently, you are making such a noise that I can’t concentrate” ..Fultushi responded back to Kabla ..“and by the way why I should be knowing of Ghana Da’s timings”..Fultushi added blushingly…In the meantime Ghanasyam Da arrives wearing a funky shirt, it seems he has such a bad dressing sense. Ghanasyam Da settles in his seat giving a quick glimpse at Fultushi from top to bottom accompanied by a very special eye contact with her. Fultushi who is well acquainted with Ghana’s cheap (oops! sorry readers, the word should be ‘praising’) look responds him back with an innocent but inviting smile. “Whats going on Kabla”, Ghana commanded..”Why are you irritating our dear Tushi (Ghana calls her in that name)”..Kabla chuckles “yeh Ghana Da, aa , I mean, aa, ee, oo, uu, ii, (all the five vowels), there is so much traffic on road no!.. I mean I was asking Fultushi whether you are coming today, aa, oooo you are looking so handsome today, where have you bought this shirt from? Its suits you so much! ” a smooth layer of butter which Kabla is very much professional in layering both Ghana da as well as Paachu Da..Ghana seems extremely pleased with Kabla’s complement (butter) that the butterfly red collar of his yellow shirt went up and he stares at her dear Tushi for her complement as well..Tushi goes close to Ghana da and takes out her handkerchief and starts to clear the white dusts on Ghana’s collar..”Oh yes Ghana da you are looking so young and dashing in this Shirt..Some dusts were here spoiling your collar. Now it’s okay I have cleared them. ”.. Dear readers those white dusts are not dusts which Fultushi also knows, but dandruffs from Ghana’s almost bald un-shampood head for months (three fourth of his hairs have fallen)..She knows very well that he is such a dirty fellow not washing himself for months or brushing his teeth..However, Fultushi’s gesture makes Ghana extremely pleased. A high adrenaline rush increases his heart beat. Fultushi taking the full opportunity of the circumstance naggingly adds “Ghana Da there is nothing special in Canteen today”..”Oh Don’t you worry dear, I will take you to ‘Dopium‘ for lunch today..”..Fultushi chuckles “Oh Ghana Da you are such a dear!”..Kabla stares at them frustrated and wonders if he can be borne as a girl in his next birth….But Fultushi’s mission is accomplished…
(To be continued…………….)