Keep Yourself Healthy with Oil and Butter (…Continued)

Kabla is generally not seen in his seats from 3.30pm to somewhere round 6.00pm because this is the time span of his playing carom in the time-pass room of iThrust. By this time let us shift our focus to some other people of considerable importance to iThrust. Let’s see what our ‘Best Idea Giver’ is doing. I am talking about Paachu Da’s favorite 'Ghanta The Great'.

Ghanta joined iThrust about some 2 years back as a Management Intern. But within this 2 years span Ghanta has proved his efficiency in lot many things (will come shortly) and bagged an award this month by Paachu Da. He has already become an important resource of iThrust next to Ghanashyam da. He is a young, energetic, proactive guy, 5ft 10 inches in height, weighing around 120 kgs with some extra saturated fat molecules from his tummy, neck and back constantly fighting with each other to change their configurations whenever he is waking or jerking to his seat or talking to someone. Even his slightest movement sets those obese areas in a juggling mode. Another very interesting point regarding him is that he always wears low rise trousers or may be it seems so because any pair of standard waist sized trousers cannot cross his huge belly; that’s why resemble like that of a low rise sort. Ghanta is every time seen to lift his trousers while walking. He seriously struggles a lot to keep his trousers in place to avoid embarrassing “Wardrobe Malfunction”- type circumstances.


Ghanasyam da has gone for smoking after the Coffee Beans presentation and when he is returning to his cubicle he turns green to find that his dear Tushi is sitting at Ghanta’s cubicle and laughing and talking with him. Ghana Da basically is a cool guy and doesn’t seem to have any problem with anybody in the office. But recently its Ghanta, who has become quite alarming and disturbing for him especially because Tushi’s changed attitude towards him. Ghana Da at times feels very insecured and helpless due to Ghanta as he very well knows that Ghanta is much younger than him and has higher ‘USP’ in terms of following factors. Number one: Ghanta belongs to a rich family, son of a rich business man. Number two: Ghanta is a very clever guy and understands the business very much. He very well knows whom he has to please in order to get a good position in iThrust and as a consequence with his sincere buttering approach he has suddenly become very closed to Paachu da. With a restless mind and sorrowful heart Ghana Da settles in his cubicle but his mind remains attached toTushi and waits for her return to her seat.

“Hi hi Hi, Ho, Ho, aah , Oof Ghanta you are too much; please don’t crack such jokes”, it seems that the sound of Fultushi’s voice is heard from every corner of the office especially each of her loud conversation was cracking Ghana da’s heart. Fultushi is laughing, flattering with Ghanta and same from the other side. Ghanta cracks his MPJs to please Fultushi. Ghanta can do anything for her because for the first time in his life a girl is sitting so close to him and laughing at his jokes. He remembers that in his college days girls hated him because of his cunning attitude and ugly overweight appearance. But Fultushi is an exception. “She is such a nice girl”, Ghanta murmured to himself. But hey readers you also know that it’s very difficult for a man to understand a woman. It is said that Women’s heart is a secret of deep oceans, deeper you sink, darker it will appear. Fultushi’s quality is that she can mix up with any man in this planet to get high praises for herself from them or just to impress them. But you will hardly find out a single female acquaintance of her in iThrust. “O Ghanta , please stop now, tell me some important things about our ‘GAIToPDF’ and ‘WealthSciences’ project, please give some suggestions on those projects….” (Both the projects are running okay, no need of suggestions at least they can wait for client’s feedback )…Fultushi’s nagging habit..can’t help…”Fultushi I won’t talk, You told me to stop”, Ghanta argued staring at her expressions. Fultushi slapped lightly on Ghanta’s back, “Please Ghanta, and come to the point, after all you are the best idea giver”… “Yes, I have many ideas of quality time we both can spend together after office today”, Ghanta gives an inviting smile. Fultushi is feeling flattered and said, “Uff don’t joke now you will be staying with Paachu Da till 2.30 am, though you actually don’t have anything to do, as if I don’t know why you stay, you stay only to please him, to show him you are working so hard”; Ghanta, the kind of guy he is, won’t take that blow, “And why you stay till 8.30pm, when you have nothing to do either, that also I know, don’t you stay for Ghana da”, Ghanta returned the blow to Tushi. “Enough Ghanta, Don’t take Ghana Da’s name, I truly respect that guy and by the way why you are so concerned”…Their unnecessary conversation go on for hours. Actually I am wrong here.. Everything happens in our life need not to be ‘necessary’ all the time, right? We do like some unnecessary moments as this conversation of Ghanta and Fultushi. “Uff, I am going back to my seat, no need of giving any ideas”, Fultushi, though not actually irritated, reveals like she is highly offended. “Oh Tushi please aah eeh I mean, listen to me, please seat, aah I was just kidding”.


Fultushi very well knows that she can impress Ghanta but he is very clever unlike Ghana Da. He is a hard nut to crack in the terms that he can flatter her for hours but he is such a miser that he will never spend a penny for her unconditionally like Ghana Da. He is guy who knows how to fetch the returns on the investment and in case if he ever takes her to lunch he knows very well to extract from her the double he spends. “O I will also see how to crack such a nut, let me see what’s Ghana Da is doing”, she murmured to herself and returned back to her cubicle giving Ghana da a big innocent grin. Ghana da once again dissolves in her smile.

Ghanta felt very relieved of his privacy as Fultushi left his cubicle and so now he is free to do certain private things like, he has a habit of hunting treasures from his huge nostrils. Likewise he put his chubby first finger of his right hand into his nostrils which are usually very big and also some elasticity of human flesh makes the path easier for his plump finger. Actually those treasures accumulate very quickly inside his nostrils. In the morning itself after coming to office he has cleaned both his nostrils in the washroom making huge sound. But again they accumulated. Anyways Ghanta like to hunt those treasures. His another private work is to insert toothpicks between his teeth to clean the chewed tobaccos which he generally chews throughout the day. Besides this, due to his overweight body he sweats a lot even in the air condition of the office. As a result he has developed a itching problem in his underarms zone. So he feels very happy while he itches his underarms.

“Ummm Ghana Da feeling a bit hungry, its already 5 pm now, let’s go outside and have some snacks”..Fultushi yawns..”Definitely Tushi, I would love to”, Ghana da jerked in his seat. Fultushi smiles to herself..
....(To be continued)

Keep Yourself Healthy With Oil and Butter (Continued……..)

After the lunch break, Kabla generally goes to the smoking zone with his partners or plays carom in the Time-Pass room of the office. Today Kabla preferred playing carom while he remembers about Kobra Da’s mail in the morning which says that today there will be a knowledge sharing session in the Conference room which every employee of i-lThrust has to attend and that the session will start by 2.30 pm. Kabla checked his watch, ”Oh its almost 2.30, no probs let me get another 5 / 10 minutes late more so as to get a seat beside Paachu Da ” he murmured to himself as he knows very well that Paachu is always late for any session and those who are late always manage to get seat beside him in the Conf. room.



The Conf. room of iThrust is full today; even some people are standing who haven’t got seats. It’s an elegant room with a big center table and has sitting arrangements of nearly 40 people fully equipped with all the advanced mechanisms like huge white screen, projector for presentations, sound absorbing roof and walls for echo prevention. Paachu Da, the super technical boss of i-Thrust is still not been seen in the room. Before the session starts let me put some light on His Highness Paachu Da the Great. Paachu Da is a brilliant guy, I think Genius would the term to define him. Everything about him is unconventional, his knowledge in myriads of various subjects to his brilliance in various Technologies, his hairstyle of a cute pony-tail to his personality, his versatility to his blogs; every, every small thing about him is unconventional. His food habits, his biological clock (working at night, and sleeping in the day), his energy, his ideas, his works, his thought process, everything is unmatched in i-Thrust. Thought he is technologically versatile, yet he is obsessed with a particular technology called PointWeb and thus he is little prejudiced about his fellow PointWeb team members. I-Thrust has been operating with basically two main technologies, CoffeeBeans and PointWeb. Since Paachu da, the big boss, is too much passionate for PointWeb, as a consequence the CoffeeBeans Teams members are bit neglected both in terms of hike in salary, designation and quality of work they get; whereas PointWeb Team enjoys a superiority over CoffeeBeans Team getting a nice shelter at the blue-eyed silhouette of the solid roof named ‘Mr Paachu Phepre ’, the Chief Officer of i-Thrust. One thing more I like to mention about Paachu Da is what I have mentioned before also is Paachu Da’s unusual food habit. Though he claims he does not take outside food yet his total meal largely comprises of different kinds of chips of different brands, bananas, some other home-made snacks, Maggi etc. Kobra da seems very fond of or rather proud of Paachu Da’s unusual habits. Of course, Kobra Da doesn’t have another option; being a Hr he has to say ‘Yes/No’ to that of Paachu Da’s respective ‘Yes/No’ as Paachu is the one and the only operating officer of iThrust.



Well, though Paachu Da is still not present in the session, seeing the time constraint Kobra Da requested one of the CoffeeBeans Team to proceed with their presentation. Kabla feels very drowsy in the Conf. Room and says in a low tone to Ghana Da (both being in the PointWeb Team), “What a boring presentation!”! A smug smile crossed across Ghana Da’s Face. Of course, Fultushi is sitting next to Ghana Da (as expected) and Ghana da seems more interested in staring at Fultushi escaping her glances than listening to the boring presentation. Fultushi always keeps a seat for Ghana Da beside her in any meeting. Suddenly Kabla gets overwhelmed to see that the door of the Conf. room slightly opens and ‘yeahhh’ Paachu Da arrives with his two hands full of packs of chips and bananas and other foods etc. As soon as Paachu settles in the room, Kabla throws his enormous body out in the air from the chair he was sitting and landed almost at Paachu da’s lap and snatches one of the chips packets from Paachu Da’s hand as if he has been starving for ages. The person as well as the people in the room who are listening to the demo feels very disturbed by Kabla’s behavior, but Kabla, Paachu da, I mean the whole PointWeb team give very little importance to their feelings. After all they are PointWeb members; they can do anything in the office. Kobra da, who is well versed with corporate etiquettes and decorum, also gets amused with Kabla’s behavior, of course since Paachu is okay with that he obviously has no authority to be annoyed at such things. The Session goes on. Suddenly the presenter stops as he gets disturbed with some munching and crunching sound. Everybody in the room looks around to know where the sound comes from and sees Paachu Da, Kabla, Ghana da etc all are munching chips making sound in between the demo. The Presenter carries on “If you click on this button you will be able to see”…. Munch, munch, munch, (again Paachu da is munching)..”a popup which says that”..munch..(Paachu da)…..”Please register yourself to use the service” …ha ha ha, hoho, hehehe (Kabla laughs)…The Presenter feels very annoyed and down. They are talking among themselves, sometimes laughing also. It makes little difference to them whether somebody is disturbed or not. Paachu da’s philosophy of life is to eat, munch making sounds, and laugh when some other person is talking in the meeting. Every other person except him is a foolish fellow in i-thrust and he likes to munch at them when they are talking at least if it is not a demo of his favorite PointWeb Team or the person speaking is not his blue-eyed baby like his favorite Ghanta who has been given ‘A Best Idea Giver and Care Taker’ award this month by Paachu da…

I will come to Ghanta shortly. Anyways the CoffeeBeans’ Session gets over and Kabla feels released.."Yeahhh its Carom time now!".
(…To be Continued………….)

Keep Yourself Healthy with Oil and Butter

“Arrey Paachu Da, today again chips”, Kabla gives an unnecessary big grin to his boss while managing a handful of corn chips from Paachu Da’s hand.. This is not the first time he managed to snatch a handful from his boss Paachu’s packet of chips which sometimes Paachu reluctantly shares with Kabla, Gobindo, Poncha and a few more are there in the list who every time tries to snatch Paachu’s day time food which consists of few packs of corn chips and potato chips and a dozen of bananas..

Kabla’s normal day starts with waking up in the morning at 9’o clock which Kabla considers very early, gulps down six jumbo sized ghee fried alu-parathas, two boiled eggs and a glass of creamy milk in the breakfast prepared by his mother, who being a very affectionate, gentle lady always concerns for her son’s health and remains very worried with the thought of her son’s getting weak by taking such a paltry diet. Kabla then hurries to the bus-stand to get the office cab which is scheduled to pick him up at 9.45am. He boards the cab while giving a quick glimpse at the other seats of the Tata Sumo to get an idea of the sitting position of his nice female office colleagues in the cab as well as to gain an instant knowledge of their attires.. Kabla very well knows that how this knowledge will help him in the knowledge sharing sessions with Gobindo, Poncha, Ghanta as soon as he reaches office.. Although Kabla sometimes gets green with Gobindo who not only always coordinates those session but has a better observation power in terms of the dresses, the vital stats and many other parameters of his office girls, yet he considers himself a better contender as Gobindo is an ugly short heighted obese married man with a 4yrs old son..Kabla considers himself genuinely handsome with pair small black greedy eyes, long poking nose, curly hairs, very fair complexion, medium heighted with a very well bulged tummy..

Anyways, Kabla makes his sitting comfortable in the cab and starts his idiotic conversation with Fultushi, sitting beside him in the middle row of the Sumo. Fultushi is a nice young girl except few very irritating facts that she considers herself Miss World and her continuous, unnecessary chats especially with the boys will give a person a beautiful headache even if he/she is not participating with her in her irritating chat session. I have given her a special name, ‘The chatter box’. Who am I? I will ask my readers to have little patience before I come to my introduction. Let’s go back to Kabla’s schedule.

Kabla manages to give his attendance to the office by swapping his access card in the electronically controlled entrance system and logs into his system. After checking few mail accounts, bank accounts, and orkut, facebook, legbook, handbook and myriads of other ‘etc-book’ accounts (thanks to the social networking sites), Kabla gets charged up and feels like smoking. Since smoking is prohibited inside the office, he goes to his smoking partners, Gobindo, Ghanta, Poncha and asks them to join him. They all seem very happy with Kabla’s proposal and joins Kabla not only in Smoking but their ‘special’ knowledge sharing sessions. Sometimes the Hr of iThrust, (the name of our company), Kobra da also joins them in the smoking zone. Kobra Da is a very descent guy and doesn’t like Kabla n company’s knowledge sharing sessions except the fact the he uses the word ‘exigency’ instead of ‘emergency’ too much in his mails whenever there is a reason to fire mails to all-employees-Kolkata@ i-thrust.com. Kobra Da is a nice person and crazy about sports be it is cricket or football or indoor games say ‘carom’.

After such a nice smoking Kabla returns to his cubicle, opens his system; while doing so he starts chatting with Fultushi, giving a big yawn says, ”What a hectic day, so many works to do!”.. yawn… “Ah! Fultushi, when is Ghanasyam Da coming?" ..yawn.." You must be knowing his timings”… a very big yawn….

Fultushi, who sits next to Kabla, is not found in her seat most of the time, rather she is found either in Ghanasyam Da’s cubicle or in her recent chat partner Ghanta’s cubicle.. In spite of her unnecessary chatting habits with male colleagues, Fultushi is otherwise very proactive, sincere girl, try to show a lots of attitude (especially in front of Ghanasyam da and Ghanta and few more guys are there in the list), which she doesn’t have, ends up in immense foolishness or stupidity…She sometimes becomes or at least shows hyper-pro activeness in any project (either she is a part of or not). Ghanasyam Da who is the direct reporting boss of Fultushi, Kabla, Gobindo, as well as me is very fond of Fultushi. Ghanasyam Da is a nice guy almost in his mid thirties but still a bachelor, enjoys Fultushi's company very much, often takes her out to lunch.. Fultushi knowing his weak point, takes this as an advantage and gives him an extra lift by flirting, blushing , going out with him, even enjoying the remarks which others throw at her regarding her relationship with her dear Ghana Da (Ghanasyam in short) especially in front of him. Fultushi represents herself to be utterly innocent as if understanding nothing at all but at the deep core of her heart she knows that this flirting ends within the boundaries of office only; she is never going to be a part of Ghana Da’s lonely life.. Higher Ghana will float in Fultushi’s sweet dreams, better will be Fultushi’s position in iThrust.. Fultushi’s approach has given her a very good hike both in her salary and designation this year and she knows this is very right to survive in this industry… Hey readers I think there is at least one Ghanasyam da and one Fultushi in every company and this is what we say in hindi “Chit bhi apni , pat be apna” means a win-win situation for both the parties. Our super boss Paachu Da in very happy with Fultushi and why not, he seldom gets high praises for Fultushi from his favourite Ghanasyam.

Well we have shifted a mile from Kabla and Fultushi’s Conversation.. Fultushi gets very amused with Kabla’s remark about her and her Ghana da as well as with his big yawn. “Uff, Cant you yawn silently, you are making such a noise that I can’t concentrate” ..Fultushi responded back to Kabla ..“and by the way why I should be knowing of Ghana Da’s timings”..Fultushi added blushingly…In the meantime Ghanasyam Da arrives wearing a funky shirt, it seems he has such a bad dressing sense. Ghanasyam Da settles in his seat giving a quick glimpse at Fultushi from top to bottom accompanied by a very special eye contact with her. Fultushi who is well acquainted with Ghana’s cheap (oops! sorry readers, the word should be ‘praising’) look responds him back with an innocent but inviting smile. “Whats going on Kabla”, Ghana commanded..”Why are you irritating our dear Tushi (Ghana calls her in that name)”..Kabla chuckles “yeh Ghana Da, aa , I mean, aa, ee, oo, uu, ii, (all the five vowels), there is so much traffic on road no!.. I mean I was asking Fultushi whether you are coming today, aa, oooo you are looking so handsome today, where have you bought this shirt from? Its suits you so much! ” a smooth layer of butter which Kabla is very much professional in layering both Ghana da as well as Paachu Da..Ghana seems extremely pleased with Kabla’s complement (butter) that the butterfly red collar of his yellow shirt went up and he stares at her dear Tushi for her complement as well..Tushi goes close to Ghana da and takes out her handkerchief and starts to clear the white dusts on Ghana’s collar..”Oh yes Ghana da you are looking so young and dashing in this Shirt..Some dusts were here spoiling your collar. Now it’s okay I have cleared them. ”.. Dear readers those white dusts are not dusts which Fultushi also knows, but dandruffs from Ghana’s almost bald un-shampood head for months (three fourth of his hairs have fallen)..She knows very well that he is such a dirty fellow not washing himself for months or brushing his teeth..However, Fultushi’s gesture makes Ghana extremely pleased. A high adrenaline rush increases his heart beat. Fultushi taking the full opportunity of the circumstance naggingly adds “Ghana Da there is nothing special in Canteen today”..”Oh Don’t you worry dear, I will take you to ‘Dopium‘ for lunch today..”..Fultushi chuckles “Oh Ghana Da you are such a dear!”..Kabla stares at them frustrated and wonders if he can be borne as a girl in his next birth….But Fultushi’s mission is accomplished…
(To be continued…………….)